Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc

#130: Stop the Drama! How to Break the Avoid-Criticize Loop

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the “Avoid Criticize Loop,” a destructive conflict pattern in relationships. They explain how indirect communication, passive-aggressive comments, and involving third parties escalate conflicts instead of resolving them. Through relatable examples, the hosts emphasize the importance of direct and vulnerable communication, recognizing and addressing one's role in the cycle, and setting boundaries to promote healthier interactions. Tune in for practical insights on improving your communication and relationship strategies.

Music by epidemic sound.

#129: 🥉Dad Life: Insights on Balancing Home, Work and Self-Care

In this Father's Day special episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo step aside and give the microphones over to their spouses, Pete, Tom, and Ralph. In this episode, they dive into personal stories, tips for self-care, managing work-from-home life, and the joys and struggles of parenting. Tune in for an insightful conversation peppered with heartfelt moments and practical advice that every dad (and mom) can relate to. Plus, a fun Father's Day quiz to keep things lively! 

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SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Father’s Everywhere!

Resources : Previous Father’s Day Episodes

AFAF Episode #54 Father Knows Best! How to Foster Curiosity and Build Self-Confidence in Your Child

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/25a4c29ea0c9724f21a6e527329d0a46

AFAF Episode #079 AFAF on the First Year of Fatherhood

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/af7ed8332bcbdd686df18d1e09a7af0c

#128: You Did It First! Breaking the Tit-for-Tat Trap

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo dive into the topic of tit-for-tat arguing and its detrimental impact on relationships. They explore the concept of critical startup moments, blame shifting, and the risks of competitive retaliation. The hosts offer practical strategies for breaking these negative patterns, such as active listening, taking responsibility, and practicing empathy. Drawing on research from John Gottman, they discuss how mindful communication can prevent conflicts from escalating and help build trust and emotional connection. Whether you're facing relationship challenges or seeking to improve your communication skills, this episode provides valuable insights and actionable advice.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Resources : 

Dr. John Gottman - Gottman Institute

https://www.gottman.com/

Dr. Marc Brackett’s Book - Permission to Feel

https://marcbrackett.com/permission-to-feel/

Link:

AFAF Episode #031 - Leading Questions - How to Ask Neutral Questions

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/b861b25d7ba33bf133fdc9cad3de2a9a

#127: Celebrating Motherhood: Lessons from the Mothership with Melissa Beck

In this heartfelt episode, we welcome back Melissa Beck, President of Anonymous Philanthropy, to share her wisdom on balancing the multifaceted roles of being a mother, career woman, and spouse. From managing career expectations, unseen labor, and burnout, to the importance of boundaries and the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, Melissa provides deep insights and practical advice. The episode also delves into Melissa's supportive 'mothership' group, her experiences raising three teenage boys, and the impactful work she does in philanthropy. Join us as we explore the strength, struggles, and triumphs of being a working mom.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Melissa Beck and Mothers everywhere

Link to previous AFAF Episode with Melissa Beck on Generosity:  

https://youtu.be/wEnzueUNT0E

#126: Embracing Common Ground We Didn’t Know We Had

In this enlightening episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo delve into the complexities of maintaining cherished relationships. The episode addresses the common tendency to focus on differences rather than similarities and offers practical tools to bridge gaps and create connections. It highlights examples from everyday life, family gatherings, workplace dynamics, and even vacations to illustrate how emphasizing commonalities can lead to more harmonious interactions. Learn how shifting your language and mindset from 'me' vs. 'you' to 'we' and 'us' can transform the way you connect with others. 

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SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Clark and Brennan - Common Ground Theory

Resources :  McCorkle and Reese: Mediation Theory and Practice

#125: Unlocking Optimism: The Art of Reframing

Welcome back to Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, featuring hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo. In today's episode, we explore “reframing”—a powerful mental communication tool backed by research that helps cultivate resilience, clarity, and purpose. The discussion juxtaposes growth versus fixed mindsets and optimism versus pessimism, drawing on insights from Martin Seligman's “Learned Optimism” and Carol Dweck's “Mindset: The Psychology of Success.” Through personal anecdotes and practical examples, we delve into how shifting our perspectives can turn challenges into opportunities for growth. Whether it’s navigating relationship breakups or dealing with everyday inconveniences, reframing aids in approaching problems from new angles and adapting a growth-oriented mindset. Join us as we uncover ways to enhance your emotional well-being and relationship dynamics through the transformative power of reframing. 

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SHOW NOTES:

Experts/Resources: 

Martin Seligman - Learned Optimism

https://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/0671019112

Brene Brown - Rising Strong

https://brenebrown.com/book/rising-strong/

Carol Dweck - Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset

AFAF Links :

Episode #004: Birthday Mindset! How to Stay Positive

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/655b369db039ba1eea98440837bb86d4

#124: Mastering Boundaries: How to Say No and Improve Your Relationships!

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the importance of setting boundaries in personal and professional relationships. They demystify common misconceptions, explore why boundaries are essential for healthy interactions, and offer practical advice on how to create, state, and maintain effective boundaries. The conversation includes real-life examples and role-playing scenarios to help listeners understand the importance of clear, direct communication. Tune in to learn how to respect your needs and foster stronger relationships through thoughtful boundary-setting. 

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SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Dr. Nicole LaPera, Cloud and Townsend

Resources : 

Dr. Nicole LaPera’s Formula for Boundaries

1. CREATE
2. STATE
3. MAINTAIN

https://theholisticpsychologist.com/boundaries-the-ultimate-life-hack/

Cloud and Townsend’s Book:

https://www.boundariesbooks.com/products/boundaries-updated-expanded-edition

Links to AFAF Episodes on Boundaries : 

Episode #020: Myths of Boundaries

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c6b431c4b18335a1759db7588986fd0d

Episode #021: Boundaries 101 - How to Say No!

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9

Episode #022: Managing Boundaries - How to Manage Difficult People

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04a05256443fa4baabf2b3dcbfcc32d9

Episode #067: How to Set Boundaries to Help Others Treat You Well

https://youtu.be/DWsp-Ma9ZMs

Episode #068: How to Handle Boundary Testers

https://youtu.be/WeAdKxNlhB0

#123: Stonewalling Explained: Why it Happens and How to Overcome it!

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the concept of stonewalling in relationships. They discuss common misconceptions, Gottman's Four Horsemen, and the damaging effects stonewalling can have on relationships. The conversation includes personal anecdotes, practical advice on how to manage and recognize stonewalling, and effective strategies like planning discussions to avoid emotional flooding. Tune in for insightful tips and real-life experiences to improve your communication and relational dynamics.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Dr. John Gottman, Gottman Institute

https://www.gottman.com/

Listen Here: Shut Down Mode

Episode #005: https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf

Watch and Listen Here: AFAF REWIND "How to Manage Stonewalling"

Episode #094: https://youtu.be/lTGfidapgAo

#122: Stop Taking It Personally! Managing Defensiveness

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo take a deep dive into defensiveness in relationships. They explore how defensiveness affects communication, relationships, and even children, drawing from personal experiences and research by Dr. John Gottman. The hosts break down Gottman’s 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' and discuss practical strategies to reduce defensiveness, including taking responsibility, seeking clarity, and reframing interactions. Tune in for expert insights and actionable tools to strengthen your communication and relationships.

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#121: That's Not What I Meant! Unpacking Intent vs. Impact

In this episode of “Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc,” Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel and Teighlor Polendo discuss the intricacies of communication and relationships, emphasizing the difference between intent and impact. Using Maya Angelou's quote as a backdrop, the hosts explore how words and actions leave lasting impressions. 

Join the conversation as they share personal stories and research findings to highlight the importance of empathy, curiosity, and mindful communication in maintaining and repairing close relationships. Practical tips, including perception checks, are provided to help listeners improve their interactions, particularly in long-term relationships and family dynamics. 

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SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Angelou, Stamp and Knapp, Albright, Brown, Gottman

Resources : 

Stamp and Knapp Article:

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-04377-001

Albright, et al. Study:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103103001288

Maya Angelou Quotation:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3503.Maya_Angelou

Brene Brown:

https://brenebrown.com/art/

Gottman Institute:

https://www.gottman.com/

Tools : Formula for Perception Checking

1. Identify the Behavior
2. Offer Two Interpretations
3. Request for Clarification

Links : 

Episode 001: The Message Received is the One That Counts

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6dce9b4a421e11cc80560cc626684dde

Episode 065: REAL TALK! Checking Our Perception Checking

https://youtu.be/qFih99VMeOU