#075: How To Express Your Needs to Unlock More Intimacy

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It allows us to express our needs, desires, and emotions, and to better understand those of our partner. However, effective communication is not always easy, especially when it comes to expressing our needs without creating conflict or causing hurt feelings.

In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor explore the roots of why we don’t always express our needs to the people we care about the most. We identify a message structure tool (below) that can help us get in the practice of sharing our needs and improving our relationships to unlock deeper levels in our relationships.  

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Psychologist Dr. Jill Weber (Psychology Today) identifies 5 reasons people are afraid to share their feelings and needs:

1. “It will make matters worse” (it will create conflict).
2. “I will seem needy” (better to suppress)
3. “I’ll stress the person out” (stress now or later?)
4. “They won’t get it” (I give up)
5. “My feelings are wrong” (mixing up right and wrong)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/202202/5-reasons-people-don-t-talk-about-what-they-need-talk-about

Resources : Brene Brown (Dare to Lead)

Tools : 

MESSAGE STRUCTURE FORMULA:

I FEEL ________

WHEN YOU DO ________

BECAUSE ________

WHAT I NEED IS _____________

 

TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Actually write these messages out and practice saying them!

Self-Esteem Mad Lib Template

https://www.psychcreatives.com/random/self-esteem-mad-lib/