Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc

#029: The Dance of Visibility (Part 3): Strategic Alignment - How to be a Better Communicator

In this episode, TalkDoc guides us through part 3 of the “Dance of Visibility." Wouldn’t it be great if there was a do over in conversation until we are satisfied with the results? Whether this be missed opportunities to speak or wishing you could delete an interaction altogether, learning to be strategic is a key element in this dance. It can be tempting to dump all responsibility on one person, but communication is a joint activity. This “dance” involves others and true competence is adaptive to the other. But what makes someone competent? TalkDoc challenges competence to be a joint activity not a one person blame game. This week, listen for TalkDoc’s 3 areas to improve your dance: select your communication behaviors, maintain image and goals for self and others. Remember each situation holds different demands; one communication tool may not work in every room. Ask yourself if you are adapting to help self and others become more visible. The challenge is to let go of the idea that a perfect set of skills will be the answer. So find your skill set and figure out what you want to accomplish. The goal of strategic alignment is coordination, adaptability and a space where authentic communication can happen. Let us know what you think: hello@afafpodcast.com

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#028: The Dance of Visibility (Part 2): How to Stop Over Explaining!

In this episode, we tackle Part 2 of the “Dance of Visibility” discussing ways to reduce over explaining and over justifying our messages. Are you someone who finds yourself in moments of over explaining? This week is about the part of the dance where we speak up too much then regret the interaction altogether. TalkDoc challenges our emotion of worry in these moments. Perhaps you worry about others’ negative perceptions of you or worry about not belonging. Research show us four ways people confuse messages by repeating, false starts, filled pauses and unfilled pauses. These misfires confuse the listener. Strategies to combat these misfires, begin yet again with getting to know ourselves better, doing more planning instead of clean up and giving yourself permission to be bold. Those in powerful positions have greater responsibility to create spaces to reduce confusion and promote clarity.

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#027: The Dance of Visibility (Part 1): How to Speak Up!

In this episode, TalkDoc begins our 3 part series, “The Dance of Visibility” with the effects of not speaking up, the consequences silence can have within ourselves and the world around us. Even a Supreme Court justice has admitted to electing not to speak up when she wanted to. So if you don't speak up, you’re not alone! When we don’t speak up when we want to, we lose alignment within ourselves - it’s the tinge of regret we’ve all felt before. But the cost can be so great! So how do we lean into correct the alignment? Start to notice where you feel regret inside yourself when you don’t speak up. Listen to that voice and learn with us! One of the key lessons this week is to consider positions of power (leaders, parents, teacher etc.) and start creating safer spaces where authentic communication can happen. Keep in mind the strategies and share with us your questions and experiences at: @hello@afafpodcast.com

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#026: Perception Checking - How to Get People to Talk

Have you ever had a conversation go no-where or just end because of a short response? Do you get frustrated with these type of non responses? In this episode, TalkDoc and the team explain the 3-part format of perception checks using practical everyday examples. These 3 part perception checks help us move through frustrating conversations and find clarity in our interactions. As you develop these tools remember practicing them in advance is vital to relationship success. Consider making your TC4G for this week keeping your words and non-verbal expressions aligned. Be wary of a perception check followed by a baised facial expression and remember, having a plan to avoid placing another in a defensive position creates opportunities for growth. Growth is what we are here for on AFAF! Tell us the neutral responses you are practicing: @hello@afafpodcast.com

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#025: Bloopers Reel 2 – Reaching farther…further

As we celebrate our 6 Month-A-Versary, we continue to grow our podcast further…farther! Listen to TalkDoc, Teighlor and Meredith’s latest blooper reel to hear more of our uncoordinated moments. Special thanks to our listeners who have supported our first six months of podcasting in spite of our imperfections. Thank you listening to Asking For A Friend with Talkdoc!

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#024: AFAF with Staci Ross on How to Manage Gaslighting (PART 2)

In this episode (part 2), Staci Ross, M.A., L.M.F.T. is our guide for how a targeted person of gaslighting can see the warning signs and find freedom. Staci relates healing from gaslighting as similar to healing from grief. While the loss of an unhealthy relationship is good for us, we still acknowledge the process of loss and healing work that’s needed. For example, have you ever felt pity for someone that hurts you? Join us as we pick Staci’s brain for advice on discerning gaslighting and manipulative traits. Lean in as Staci gets beautifully brave and vulnerable with us.  She invites us into her own experiences illustrating what it’s like to be in relationship with someone who gaslights. Not surprising, our own healthy boundaries help us in dealing with these traits (see previous episodes on boundaries). We are so thankful for Staci’s time and words of wisdom this week! We hope to hear from you (hello@afafpodcast.com).

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#023: AFAF with Staci Ross on How to Identify Gaslighting (PART 1)

In this episode (part one), Staci Ross, M.A., L.M.F.T., of over 20 years, holistic health coach and Reiki master answers questions and walks us through what gaslighting and manipulation really are. We hear these terms thrown around often and wonder if we use them accurately. Staci eloquently guides us to better understand these serious traits. As you listen, remember gaslighting comes in phases: disbelief, defense and depression. There’s a difference between being manipulative and a person who is gaslighting. Gaslighting is the extreme action of a manipulator. It is systemic, an intentional attempt to break down another over time.  A person who gaslights chips away at our support systems; they breed isolation. Staci’s years of wisdom both personally and professionally on these topics give us a foundation for the “what” on these massive areas. Check out our next episode (part 2) about solutions, examples, and how to discern these behaviors in our own lives. 

 

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#022: Managing Boundaries - How to Manage Difficult People

Now that we’ve broken down boundary myths and how to make a boundary, we deep dive into practical examples of how to manage boundaries in real-time. We need to understand the other person's “why” for resisting our boundary. Look for the “turbulence” you feel, it’s a clue about what is important to you. We all know stress is inevitable in relationship, so why not learn ways to be pro-active instead of reactive to these stressors? This week we learn lessons from TalkDoc for how to carefully plan responses to boundary resistors in our lives.  To be kind to our relationships we need to give others a manual for how to treat us. We need to understand why others break our boundaries in order to plan and reduce relationships stress. Remember being clear is kind! The key here is to focus on what you need NOT on how the other person should behave.

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#021: Boundaries 101 - How to Say No!

In this episode TalkDoc breaks down what boundaries really are versus what they are not. Do you know clear boundaries actually help the people in our lives treat us better? What do you say yes and no to in your life? Do you feel overwhelmed or used? Research shows if we stick to our boundaries they help us feel less taken advantage of by others. It’s important to learn that boundary making is about owning responsibility and our own needs, not directing the actions of people around us. So consider what is good for you without casting shade on others. This week is all about practice, practice, practice. Tune into the boundary mantra, “create, state, maintain.” Remember, to best communicate a clear boundary you need to be able to tell another what is not allowed for you AND what you need. Don’t forget, boundaries are clear! Let us know how you stick to your boundaries (hello@afafpodcast.com). 

 

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#020: Myths of Boundaries

In this episode we discuss what a boundary actually is versus how boundaries often get misconstrued. Boundaries are all around us and help us know what we are responsible for or what others’ responsibilities are. They are about providing structure and research shows we require structure to thrive. Join us as we explore boundary violations, their limits and how you can clarify your needs. We clarify what boundaries are not through 4 myths many of us believe. As you listen, explore the beliefs you carry about boundaries and work through them with us in practical ways. Take a listen and let us know how you see this (hello@afafpodcast.com)

 

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