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Dr. Pamela Kreiser (with Meredith Edwards Nagel and Teighlor Polendo) shares her practical insights about how to improve relationships and promote peace—drawing upon her experience teaching graduate and undergraduate students, serving as a Lead Mediator, and training Mediators. Submit your questions to hello@afafpodcast.com KEYWORDS: Communication, Interpersonal Communication, Interpersonal Conflict, Relationships, Mediation, Human Connection, Dyadic Communication, Interpersonal Communication Skills.
Episodes
Tuesday Jul 02, 2024
Tuesday Jul 02, 2024
In this episode of "Asking for a Friend,” join Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagle, and Teighlor Polendo dive deep into the nuances between direct and indirect communication styles. Through personal experiences, expert insights, and practical examples, they explore why individuals might prefer one method over the other and how these preferences are influenced by cultural backgrounds. The discussion includes an analysis of Cynthia Joyce's article on communication impact, interactive quizzes, and valuable tips for bridging the gap between different communicative approaches. Whether it's navigating breakups, professional settings, or everyday interactions, this episode offers a comprehensive guide to improving communication and relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Cynthia Joyce
Resources :
Dr. Cynthia Joyce’s Chart:
Huffington Post Article:
Breaking up:
https://news.byu.edu/news/delivering-bad-news-dont-beat-around-bush
Direct vs. Indirect Speech:
Ending Relationships:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254376804_Strategies_for_ending_relationships_Two_studies
Links :
AFAF Episode #027: The Dance of Visibility (Part 1): How to Speak Up!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/1980a02db6d55a72c46cfe659ca2cb03
AFAF Episode #028: The Dance of Visibility (Part 2): How to Stop Over Explaining!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/7256cb9fd6ba3bb1893f130453818b47
AFAF Episode #027: The Dance of Visibility (Part 3): Strategic Alignment - How to be a Better Communicator!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/51e031a91f4867fad1d39e7929d4247a
AFAF Episode #018: Beating Around the Bush - How to Choose Your Words
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/d5be7964f269f49c542b588e21652c8a
Tuesday Jun 18, 2024
Tuesday Jun 18, 2024
In this episode of "Asking for a Friend,” join Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagle, and Teighlor Polendo as they delve into the toxic dynamics of contempt in interpersonal relationships. Dubbed the "worst of the four horsemen" by renowned researcher John Gottman, contempt is a critical indicator of potential relationship demise.
Tune in as we unpack the verbal and non-verbal signs of contempt, its devastating effects on relationships, and its alarming impact on individual health, including heightened vulnerability to infectious diseases. Through engaging discussions, we highlight practical solutions and emphasize the importance of nurturing a culture of appreciation rather than criticism. Featuring real-life examples and personal stories, this episode offers listeners valuable insights into recognizing and addressing contempt in their relationships. Join the conversation and learn how to build healthier, more respectful connections.
Music by epidemic sound.
Tuesday Jun 04, 2024
Tuesday Jun 04, 2024
In this episode, we dive deep into the fascinating world of deception, exaggeration, and confabulations in our everyday interactions. We start by unraveling the mechanics of intentional deception, where people consciously mislead others to alter beliefs or obscure the truth. Our discussion then transitions to exaggeration—a widespread yet often overlooked form of deception used for storytelling, emphasis, or humor. Through relatable anecdotes, we expose how even harmless exaggeration can erode trust over time.
Next, we explore the realm of confabulations, where individuals unknowingly fabricate false memories or beliefs. These 'honest lies' can have profound effects on relationships and communication. By examining both scientific research and personal experiences, we shed light on the subtle yet significant impact of these phenomena.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we uncover the delicate balance between truth and falsehood in our interactions, offering insights and reflections that will make you rethink the way you communicate and build trust with others.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Brene Brown, Clifton, and Gottschall
Resources :
Brene Brown’s Books: Dare to Lead and Rising Strong
Clifton Strengths Finder 2.0
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/254033/strengthsfinder.aspx
Jonathan Gottschall (2013) - The Story Telling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human
https://www.amazon.com/Storytelling-Animal-Stories-Make-Human/dp/0544002342
Strength Finder Tool:
https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/252137/home.aspx
Links :
AFAF Episode 13 “The Stories We Make Up”
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/97368b3e753092d12a97c52d74b58cbf
Key and Peele Skit - Text Message Confusion:
Tuesday May 28, 2024
Tuesday May 28, 2024
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor on the latest episode as we dive into understanding the intricacies of healthy relationships. In this episode, we revisit essential topics covered in our previous discussions on spotting red flags (Episode 80) and green flags (Episode 82). We take a retrospective look at episodes 80 through 83, exploring how past experiences and family backgrounds shape our ability to identify warning signs and the role of compassion in this process.
Highlights include a robust discussion on the significance of green flags, such as experiencing genuine happiness and self-assuredness in the presence of a partner. We emphasize the importance of personal growth and boundary setting, underlining how self-awareness contributes to building fulfilling relationships.
Tune in as we stress the educational aspect of our content, offering practical insights aimed at enhancing communication and fostering healthy relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Links :
AFAF Episode 80: How to Spot Red Flags in Relationships and Dating
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04fba5aa22def91904d762e99f13460b
AFAF Episode 82: How to Spot Green Flags in Relationships and Dating
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/ee9c3bc999440ea80693b973303b7eeb
Tuesday May 21, 2024
Tuesday May 21, 2024
In this latest episode, TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor embark on a deep dive into the intricate world of deception within human communication and relationships. Unveiling the staggering statistics that reveal an average of three lies every ten minutes in a conversation, the hosts unravel the multifaceted layers of lying.
From harmless white lies to intentional omissions and complex equivocations, the discussion uncovers the spectrum of lies we encounter daily, shedding light on the ethical dilemmas they pose. Through personal stories and compelling research, the hosts illuminate how lies often serve dual purposes—shielding feelings while also serving the liar's self-interests.
Tune in as we dissect the myriad reasons behind lying, dissecting its impact on relationships, and navigating the delicate balance between honesty and maintaining social harmony. This episode promises an engaging dialogue that challenges our understanding of truth and deception in the fabric of human connection.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Adler and Towne, Bavelas et al., Metts
Statistics on Lying - University of Wisconsin-La Crosse
https://www.uwlax.edu/currents/how-often-do-people-lie/
Lying Less Linked to Better Health by American Psy. Association
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2012/08/lying-less
The Brain Adapts to Dishonesty by Garrett et al. (2016)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5238933/
Study on Sexual Rejection Messages by Metts, Cupach, and Imahori:
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10570319209374398
Resources :
Adler and Towne’s Book: Looking Out, Looking In
Tuesday May 14, 2024
Tuesday May 14, 2024
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor on the latest episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” where we revisit an essential topic covered in Episode 58: Keeping Your Cool: How to Control Your Emotions So They Don't Control You. We explore practical strategies for navigating challenging emotions, we draw from the insights of leading researchers like Marc Brackett and Brené Brown.
In this episode, we emphasize the art of recognizing and understanding the initial physical sensations that accompany emotional responses, a crucial step in preventing emotions from hijacking rational thought processes. Instead of trying to evade these feelings, we advocate for embracing them and employing mindful techniques to regain control.
Key techniques discussed include body awareness exercises to pinpoint emotional triggers, conscious deep breathing to promote relaxation, and leveraging the parasympathetic nervous system to lower cortisol levels and promote calmness. By tuning in to this episode, you'll gain valuable tools for managing emotions effectively, maintaining composure in stressful situations, and fostering healthier communication and relationships. Tune in for transformative insights and actionable steps toward emotional mastery.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Marc Brackett and Dr. Brene Brown
Links :
AFAF Episode #058: Keeping Your Cool: How to Control Your Emotions So They Don't Control You
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/e7556c93c8e574aa35cdcff0b649e66e
Tuesday May 07, 2024
Tuesday May 07, 2024
In this latest episode of our podcast, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor tackle the intricate dance between mothers and their smartphone habits. With Mother's Day as our backdrop, we embark on a heartfelt exploration of personal anecdotes, unveiling the layers of guilt that often accompany excessive phone use, particularly when it interferes with meaningful moments with our children.
Our conversation is a poignant reflection of the ongoing struggle to strike a harmonious balance between fulfilling digital responsibilities and being fully present for our kids, shedding light on the phenomenon known as “technoference” and its impact on maternal contentment.
Delving into the research, we dissect studies that illuminate the effects of maternal smartphone engagement on children's emotional states and cognitive synchronization during face-to-face interactions. These insights serve as a sobering reminder of the need to navigate our digital lives mindfully, cultivating strategies to mitigate guilt and foster healthier coping mechanisms. We don’t just stop at analysis; we share actionable tips and techniques aimed at improving this dynamic.
From establishing designated "phone-free" hours to prioritizing self-care for mental and relationship well-being, our episode serves as a beacon of support for mothers navigating the intricate web of modern-day connectivity and parenting. Join us as we navigate this nuanced terrain with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to nurturing stronger, more present relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Wolfers, Wendt, Becker, and Utz (2023), Pew Research Center, McDaniel & Radesky
Technoference is defined as “everyday interruptions in interpersonal interactions or time spent together that occur due to the digital and mobile technology devices” (McDaniel & Radesky, 2018, p. 100.
Resources :
Wolfers, Wendt, Becker, and Utz (2023) article: “Do you love your phone more than your child? The consequences of norms and guilt around maternal smartphone use”
https://academic.oup.com/hcr/article/49/3/285/7010694
Cartoon by Michael Leunig (2019):
Research on Parental Burnout by Zhang, Hu, and Mao (2023):
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/01430343231201863
Pew Research on Teens and Parents Approach to Screen Time:
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/
Research on Still Face and Babies:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3289403/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32857440/
Research on Reading and Phone Interruptions:
Links :
AFAF Episode #015: What the Phub!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5
Tuesday Apr 30, 2024
Tuesday Apr 30, 2024
Are your loved ones left guessing about your true feelings? Do you often find yourself taking the safer route by avoiding emotional conversations? It’s easy to overlook the importance of identifying, labeling, and expressing our emotions effectively. However, enhancing our emotional expression is crucial for nurturing healthy relationships. After all, we’re emotional beings who sometimes think!
Join us in this episode as we dive back into the valuable insights from episodes 53 and 55. We’ll explore actionable strategies to help you better understand and convey your emotions. Tune in now to discover ways to strengthen communication with your closest relationship partners, ensuring that you leave no room for guesswork.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Marc Brackett
AFAF Episode #053: Sad? Mad? Glad? How to Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6838118c4eb4b0ddd297f0f74e2edd26
AFAF Episode #055: All the Feels! How to Better Express Your Feelings
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/1b17807d586eb084ea5e45230bcd422b
Tuesday Apr 23, 2024
Tuesday Apr 23, 2024
Understanding Codependency and Hypervigilance
In this episode of Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc, we deep dive into the intricate dynamics of Codependency and Hypervigilance. Our guest, Carrie Johnson, brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table, enriching our understanding of these crucial subjects.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, Teighlor, and Carrie as we navigate the nuances of codependency, moving beyond its conventional ties to addiction and exploring its multifaceted manifestations in various relationships. Drawing from a poignant personal story shared by a student, our conversation sheds light on how codependency can manifest in interactions with narcissists and dependents alike, offering profound insights into the complexities of human connection.
Hypervigilance takes center stage as we unravel its impact on individuals navigating emotionally volatile environments. We explore how this heightened state of awareness influences coping mechanisms and discuss practical strategies for cultivating resilience and reclaiming autonomy.
Throughout the episode, we emphasize the transformative power of self-compassion, the healing journey of re-parenting oneself, and the importance of establishing healthy boundaries. Our exploration extends to valuable resources such as therapy and support groups, underlining the significance of seeking professional guidance and communal support in navigating these challenges.
Tune in as we champion self-awareness, advocate for nurturing meaningful relationships, and champion the invaluable practice of prioritizing mental well-being. This episode promises a wealth of wisdom and actionable insights for anyone seeking to unravel the intricacies of codependency and hypervigilance in their lives.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Murray Bowen (Family Systems)
https://www.thebowencenter.org/core-concepts-diagrams
Resources :
Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
https://www.melodybeattie.com/codependentnomore
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous (Al-Anon)
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Woititz
https://www.amazon.com/Adult-children-alcoholics-Geringer-Woititz/dp/B000720PS8
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Gibson
https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
https://www.boundariesbooks.com/
Links :
Instagram Emily H. Sanders LMFThttps://www.instagram.com/emily.sanders.therapy/?hl=en
Instagram Lisa Romano @LisaRomano
https://www.instagram.com/lisaaromano/?hl=en
AFAF Episode 71: AFAF with Carrie Johnson on People Pleasers!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/f51d610dd854351ecace50e61afb0c01
AFAF Episode 59: Anger Management! How to Tame Your Temper with Christopher Faris and Carrie Johnson
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/d3a4aa5fad6104f0aafc2a80e3cb04dc
Tuesday Apr 16, 2024
Tuesday Apr 16, 2024
Celebrating Episode 100
In the 100th episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” hosts TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor celebrate the milestone by revisiting the very first episode titled, “The Message Received is the One That Counts.”
We discuss the challenges and misunderstandings that arise in communication, particularly focusing on the negative perception of sensitivity. Through personal anecdotes, we explore how being labeled as 'too sensitive' impacts relationships and communication, suggesting that sensitivity should instead be seen as a strength.
We delve into the importance of acknowledging the impact of our words on others, rather than justifying intentions, and offer strategies for better understanding and validating each other's feelings in conversations. The episode underscores the value of empathy and the significance of how messages are received in shaping effective and compassionate communication.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Link to AFAF Episode #001: Our First Full Episode!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6dce9b4a421e11cc80560cc626684dde
Link to AFAF Episode #000: Nice to Meet You!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/dc060c5a327d77522d1f2e3a5322d7b8