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Dr. Pamela Kreiser (with Meredith Edwards Nagel and Teighlor Polendo) shares her practical insights about how to improve relationships and promote peace—drawing upon her experience teaching graduate and undergraduate students, serving as a Lead Mediator, and training Mediators. Submit your questions to hello@afafpodcast.com KEYWORDS: Communication, Interpersonal Communication, Interpersonal Conflict, Relationships, Mediation, Human Connection, Dyadic Communication, Interpersonal Communication Skills.
Episodes

Tuesday May 14, 2024
#104: AFAF Rewind! How to Master Your Emotions
Tuesday May 14, 2024
Tuesday May 14, 2024
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor on the latest episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” where we revisit an essential topic covered in Episode 58: Keeping Your Cool: How to Control Your Emotions So They Don't Control You. We explore practical strategies for navigating challenging emotions, we draw from the insights of leading researchers like Marc Brackett and Brené Brown.
In this episode, we emphasize the art of recognizing and understanding the initial physical sensations that accompany emotional responses, a crucial step in preventing emotions from hijacking rational thought processes. Instead of trying to evade these feelings, we advocate for embracing them and employing mindful techniques to regain control.
Key techniques discussed include body awareness exercises to pinpoint emotional triggers, conscious deep breathing to promote relaxation, and leveraging the parasympathetic nervous system to lower cortisol levels and promote calmness. By tuning in to this episode, you'll gain valuable tools for managing emotions effectively, maintaining composure in stressful situations, and fostering healthier communication and relationships. Tune in for transformative insights and actionable steps toward emotional mastery.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Marc Brackett and Dr. Brene Brown
Links :
AFAF Episode #058: Keeping Your Cool: How to Control Your Emotions So They Don't Control You
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/e7556c93c8e574aa35cdcff0b649e66e

Tuesday May 07, 2024
#103: Mom! Get Off Your Phone!
Tuesday May 07, 2024
Tuesday May 07, 2024
In this latest episode of our podcast, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor tackle the intricate dance between mothers and their smartphone habits. With Mother's Day as our backdrop, we embark on a heartfelt exploration of personal anecdotes, unveiling the layers of guilt that often accompany excessive phone use, particularly when it interferes with meaningful moments with our children.
Our conversation is a poignant reflection of the ongoing struggle to strike a harmonious balance between fulfilling digital responsibilities and being fully present for our kids, shedding light on the phenomenon known as “technoference” and its impact on maternal contentment.
Delving into the research, we dissect studies that illuminate the effects of maternal smartphone engagement on children's emotional states and cognitive synchronization during face-to-face interactions. These insights serve as a sobering reminder of the need to navigate our digital lives mindfully, cultivating strategies to mitigate guilt and foster healthier coping mechanisms. We don’t just stop at analysis; we share actionable tips and techniques aimed at improving this dynamic.
From establishing designated "phone-free" hours to prioritizing self-care for mental and relationship well-being, our episode serves as a beacon of support for mothers navigating the intricate web of modern-day connectivity and parenting. Join us as we navigate this nuanced terrain with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to nurturing stronger, more present relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Wolfers, Wendt, Becker, and Utz (2023), Pew Research Center, McDaniel & Radesky
Technoference is defined as “everyday interruptions in interpersonal interactions or time spent together that occur due to the digital and mobile technology devices” (McDaniel & Radesky, 2018, p. 100.
Resources :
Wolfers, Wendt, Becker, and Utz (2023) article: “Do you love your phone more than your child? The consequences of norms and guilt around maternal smartphone use”
https://academic.oup.com/hcr/article/49/3/285/7010694
Cartoon by Michael Leunig (2019):
Research on Parental Burnout by Zhang, Hu, and Mao (2023):
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/01430343231201863
Pew Research on Teens and Parents Approach to Screen Time:
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/
Research on Still Face and Babies:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3289403/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32857440/
Research on Reading and Phone Interruptions:
Links :
AFAF Episode #015: What the Phub!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5

Tuesday Apr 30, 2024
#102: AFAF Rewind! How to Express Your Emotions
Tuesday Apr 30, 2024
Tuesday Apr 30, 2024
Are your loved ones left guessing about your true feelings? Do you often find yourself taking the safer route by avoiding emotional conversations? It’s easy to overlook the importance of identifying, labeling, and expressing our emotions effectively. However, enhancing our emotional expression is crucial for nurturing healthy relationships. After all, we’re emotional beings who sometimes think!
Join us in this episode as we dive back into the valuable insights from episodes 53 and 55. We’ll explore actionable strategies to help you better understand and convey your emotions. Tune in now to discover ways to strengthen communication with your closest relationship partners, ensuring that you leave no room for guesswork.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Marc Brackett
AFAF Episode #053: Sad? Mad? Glad? How to Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6838118c4eb4b0ddd297f0f74e2edd26
AFAF Episode #055: All the Feels! How to Better Express Your Feelings
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/1b17807d586eb084ea5e45230bcd422b

Tuesday Apr 23, 2024
#101: AFAF with Carrie Johnson on Codependency and Hypervigilance
Tuesday Apr 23, 2024
Tuesday Apr 23, 2024
Understanding Codependency and Hypervigilance
In this episode of Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc, we deep dive into the intricate dynamics of Codependency and Hypervigilance. Our guest, Carrie Johnson, brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table, enriching our understanding of these crucial subjects.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, Teighlor, and Carrie as we navigate the nuances of codependency, moving beyond its conventional ties to addiction and exploring its multifaceted manifestations in various relationships. Drawing from a poignant personal story shared by a student, our conversation sheds light on how codependency can manifest in interactions with narcissists and dependents alike, offering profound insights into the complexities of human connection.
Hypervigilance takes center stage as we unravel its impact on individuals navigating emotionally volatile environments. We explore how this heightened state of awareness influences coping mechanisms and discuss practical strategies for cultivating resilience and reclaiming autonomy.
Throughout the episode, we emphasize the transformative power of self-compassion, the healing journey of re-parenting oneself, and the importance of establishing healthy boundaries. Our exploration extends to valuable resources such as therapy and support groups, underlining the significance of seeking professional guidance and communal support in navigating these challenges.
Tune in as we champion self-awareness, advocate for nurturing meaningful relationships, and champion the invaluable practice of prioritizing mental well-being. This episode promises a wealth of wisdom and actionable insights for anyone seeking to unravel the intricacies of codependency and hypervigilance in their lives.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Murray Bowen (Family Systems)
https://www.thebowencenter.org/core-concepts-diagrams
Resources :
Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
https://www.melodybeattie.com/codependentnomore
Co-Dependents Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous (Al-Anon)
Adult Children of Alcoholics by Woititz
https://www.amazon.com/Adult-children-alcoholics-Geringer-Woititz/dp/B000720PS8
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Gibson
https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
https://www.boundariesbooks.com/
Links :
Instagram Emily H. Sanders LMFThttps://www.instagram.com/emily.sanders.therapy/?hl=en
Instagram Lisa Romano @LisaRomano
https://www.instagram.com/lisaaromano/?hl=en
AFAF Episode 71: AFAF with Carrie Johnson on People Pleasers!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/f51d610dd854351ecace50e61afb0c01
AFAF Episode 59: Anger Management! How to Tame Your Temper with Christopher Faris and Carrie Johnson
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/d3a4aa5fad6104f0aafc2a80e3cb04dc

Tuesday Apr 16, 2024
#100: AFAF Rewind! The Message Received is the One that Counts!
Tuesday Apr 16, 2024
Tuesday Apr 16, 2024
Celebrating Episode 100
In the 100th episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” hosts TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor celebrate the milestone by revisiting the very first episode titled, “The Message Received is the One That Counts.”
We discuss the challenges and misunderstandings that arise in communication, particularly focusing on the negative perception of sensitivity. Through personal anecdotes, we explore how being labeled as 'too sensitive' impacts relationships and communication, suggesting that sensitivity should instead be seen as a strength.
We delve into the importance of acknowledging the impact of our words on others, rather than justifying intentions, and offer strategies for better understanding and validating each other's feelings in conversations. The episode underscores the value of empathy and the significance of how messages are received in shaping effective and compassionate communication.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Link to AFAF Episode #001: Our First Full Episode!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/6dce9b4a421e11cc80560cc626684dde
Link to AFAF Episode #000: Nice to Meet You!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/dc060c5a327d77522d1f2e3a5322d7b8

Tuesday Apr 09, 2024
#099: I Don't Like Your Tone! The Power of Nonverbal Paralanguage
Tuesday Apr 09, 2024
Tuesday Apr 09, 2024
Have you ever been told, “I don't like your tone?” That simple statement carries a world of significance. It reflects not just the words spoken but also the emotional context and intention behind them. Our tone of voice serves as a powerful vehicle for transmitting feelings, attitudes, and intentions in every interaction.
In this episode, we explore the intricate world of nonverbal communication, with a focus on tone as a vital component of paralanguage. Join TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor, as we unravel the layers of how tone can profoundly shape the interpretation and reception of our messages.
From the volume and pitch to the pace and clarity of our speech, every nuance of tone plays a crucial role in conveying emotions, confidence levels, and overall competence. Drawing from personal experiences, we share anecdotes that illuminate how tone can either strengthen or strain relationships and communication dynamics.
We dive into fascinating research on how voice pitch can influence attraction and how subtle variations in tone can reveal underlying emotions or hidden intentions, often speaking louder than words alone.
Ultimately, this episode serves as a gentle reminder of the power of tone in our everyday interactions. By becoming more aware of our tone and learning to adjust it consciously, we can unlock the potential for more meaningful, empathetic, and impactful communication in both personal and professional realms.
Tune in as we unravel the nuances of tone and its profound impact on our relationships and communication efficacy.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Gottman, Gottman Institute, Guerrero, Touch Research Institute
Resources :
Maya Angelou quotation:
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Gottman and Notarius (2004): Observing Marital Interaction
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00927.x

Tuesday Apr 02, 2024
#098: AFAF Rewind! How to Manage Gaslighting
Tuesday Apr 02, 2024
Tuesday Apr 02, 2024
In case you missed it, we are back with another AFAF Rewind! This is your chance to revisit Episodes #023 and #024: How to Manage Gaslighting (Part 1 and 2)
In this compelling two-part series, we delve deep into the often-misunderstood concept of “gaslighting” with Staci Ross, M.A., L.M.F.T., an expert in the field.
Discover the nuanced layers of gaslighting as Staci breaks down this extreme manipulation tactic. Unveiling its systemic nature, she reveals how gaslighting is an intentional effort to erode a person's sense of self over time, strategically dismantling their support systems and fostering isolation. Join our insightful conversation with TalkDoc, Meredith, Teighlor, and Staci as we explore the subtle warning signs of gaslighting and empower you with strategies to break free from these toxic relationships.
Staci's wealth of knowledge extends beyond theory, as she draws upon her personal experiences to shed light on these destructive patterns. Tune in to gain invaluable insights into discerning gaslighting and learn actionable steps to reclaim your sense of self.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Link to full AFAF Episode 23:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/172b1da84e9ef9e99153bd3d3622698b
Link to full AFAF Episode 24:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/3a5b4efae31991c46b80678dfad86f9f

Tuesday Mar 26, 2024
#097: AFAF with Marissa Cirbo on Communicating Amidst Chronic Illness
Tuesday Mar 26, 2024
Tuesday Mar 26, 2024
Join us for a special episode of Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc as we delve into the world of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in honor of MS Awareness Month. Our guest, Marissa Cirbo, bravely shares her personal journey with MS, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs she has faced since her diagnosis in 2022.
Marissa takes us back to the beginning, recounting the unusual symptoms that first appeared after a trip to Mexico and the journey of discovery that followed. She discusses the frustrating experience of being initially misdiagnosed and the emotional rollercoaster of shock and grief upon receiving the correct diagnosis of MS. Throughout our conversation, Marissa eloquently navigates the complex medical maze she encountered and shares valuable insights into self-advocacy and finding a support network.
One of the key takeaways from our discussion is the concept of MS as a "snowflake disease," highlighting the unique experiences and challenges that each individual with MS faces. Marissa's story emphasizes the importance of MS Awareness Month in raising awareness about these complexities, particularly the often invisible symptoms that can be so difficult to communicate.
We also explore the impact of chronic illness on relationships, emphasizing the need for open and honest communication. Marissa shares practical advice for those who are newly diagnosed with MS and their families, including tips on setting boundaries and increasing self-awareness in communication.
Throughout the episode, Marissa's resilience and proactive approach to managing her MS journey shine through, including her involvement in a support group for newly diagnosed individuals. Join us as we discover hope, healing, and meaningful connections amidst the challenges of chronic illness, and learn valuable communication strategies from Marissa's inspiring story.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : National MS Society, Multiple Sclerosis Association of America
Resources/Links:
National Multiple Sclerosis Society https://www.nationalmssociety.org/
The National MS Society's vision is: A World Free of MS. The Society's mission is: We will cure MS while empowering people affected by MS to live their best lives.
Multiple Sclerosis Association of America (MSAA) https://mymsaa.org/
The Multiple Sclerosis Association of America (MSAA) is a leading resource for the entire MS community, improving lives today through vital services and support.
Can Do MS: https://cando-ms.org/
Free programs and resources help people living with multiple sclerosis and their care partners make each day the best it can be. Learn how MS can impact your life, find motivation and personalized guidance to overcome challenges and build a positive support network.
Lived Health: https://www.livedhealth.org/
A free, patient-led online video resource shining light on long-term health conditions. We guide fellow patients through diagnosis, treatment and lifestyle.

Tuesday Mar 19, 2024
#096: AFAF Rewind! How to Stop Over Explaining!
Tuesday Mar 19, 2024
Tuesday Mar 19, 2024
In case you missed it, we are back with another AFAF Rewind! This is your chance to revisit Episode #028: How to Stop Over Explaining!
Ever catch yourself in the loop of over-explaining? It's like a dance move where we talk too much and end up regretting the whole interaction later on. We look back on Episode 28 where we unpack the anxieties that fuel our tendency to over-explain, from the fear of others' perceptions to the nagging sense of not quite fitting in.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we dissect four common pitfalls that muddy our messages: the stumbling block of repetition, the art of false starts, the peril of filled pauses, and the awkwardness of unfilled pauses. These communication hiccups not only risk confusing your audience but can also leave you second-guessing your entire interaction.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Link to AFAF Episode 28:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/7256cb9fd6ba3bb1893f130453818b47

Tuesday Mar 12, 2024
#095: Can't TouchThis! The Power of Nonverbal Touch
Tuesday Mar 12, 2024
Tuesday Mar 12, 2024
Have you ever pondered the complexities of your own reactions to being touched? Join us as we dive into the nuanced dynamics of touch, where it can be both a positive connection and, in certain contexts, a source of discomfort.
In this episode, we begin our exploration of nonverbal communication by drawing on Judee Burgoon's renowned Expectancy Violation Theory. We dissect the intricate tapestry of our responses to touch from others. Burgoon provides a valuable framework that helps us navigate through instances where touch exceeds our expectations, both positively and negatively.
Tune in to hear engaging discussions fueled by both research findings and personal experiences. Beyond adult interactions, we explore the profound significance of human touch in the early stages of life, acknowledging its indispensable role as a soothing and regulating force for infants and children.
Join us as we unravel the layers of touch, an essential component of the human experience that not only connects us on a profound level but also serves as a powerful tool for maintaining our connections with others. Your understanding of communication and relationships is about to reach a whole new depth.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Judee Burgoon, Mehrabian, Touch Research Institute, L. Guerrero, Scientific American
Resources :
Judee Burgoon’s Expectancy Violation Theory
https://www.communicationtheory.org/expectancy-violation-theory/
Judee Burgoon Explains Expectancy Violation Theory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kmnZIxiYHk
Touching Map from University of Oxford
https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2015-10-27-maps-show-where-touching-allowed-0
Infant Touch Article
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/infant-touch/
Power of Touch by Chillot- Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/the-power-of-touch