Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc

#094: AFAF Rewind! Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling

In case you missed it, we are back with another AFAF Rewind! This is your chance to revisit some of our most impactful episodes! In this episode, we are bringing you a clip from Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling. 

Stonewalling can be a red flag in any relationship, signaling potential challenges ahead or even worse. Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we review practical ways to improve our relationships by managing stonewalling. 

Join us as we dissect stonewalling and offer practical tips to transform your approach to relationships. Tune in, rewind, and rediscover the keys to unlocking stronger, more resilient connections in the relationships you want to keep. 

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Dr. John Gottman, Gottman Institute

Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling (Full Episode)

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf

Links:

https://www.gottman.com/

 

#093: Make Your World Bigger!

Ready to break free from the comfort zone and expand your world? Join us in the latest episode of Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc as we dive deep into the transformative power of Trading Comfort for Growth.

Are your relationships and decisions keeping your world confined? Explore the subtle ways we unknowingly limit our choices and hinder personal growth. Delve into the dynamics of playing it safe versus embracing change in your social circles. Discover how resisting risk can affect the depth and richness of your connections. Learn about the pivotal moments where decisions either shrink or expand your world. Uncover the psychology behind choices and their impact on personal development.

Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we share actionable strategies to make your world bigger on both macro and micro levels. From meeting new people to making bold decisions, we've got you covered. Understand why a bigger world equals broader perspectives. Gain insights into yourself, others, and the world around you by breaking free from the confines of a small world mindset.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Brene Brown, Latimore

Resources : 

Brene Brown’s Book - Braving the Wilderness

https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/

AFAF Episode 23 and 24 Gaslighting Episodes

Episode #023: AFAF with Staci Ross on How to Identify Gaslighting (PART 1)

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/172b1da84e9ef9e99153bd3d3622698b

Episode #024: AFAF with Staci Ross on How to Manage Gaslighting (PART 2)

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/3a5b4efae31991c46b80678dfad86f9f

Quotation :

"The heaviest weight at the gym is the front door." —Ed Latimore

#092: AFAF Rewind! Women, Heart Attacks, and American Heart Month 2024

Introducing AFAF Rewind! Your look back on our podcast's greatest hits!

As February unfolds, we pay homage to American Heart Month by revisiting Episode 60, a crucial discussion on Women and Heart Attacks. Tune in for poignant clips that shed light on the often overlooked signs, emphasizing the importance of awareness and proactive care.

Consider this episode a heartfelt reminder to safeguard the well-being of the women in your life. Whether you missed it the first time or just want to revisit the essential insights, these curated snippets serve as a teaser, encouraging you to delve into the full episode.

Join us in honoring American Heart Month by not only enjoying this retrospective episode but also sharing it with friends and family. Let's amplify the conversation on health, relationships, and the vital connections that make life meaningful. Your heart will thank you for it!

Music by epidemic sound. 

SHOW NOTES:

AFAF Episode #060: Women and Heart Attacks

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/5802794d3abd2e633ee6f988817c5777

Experts :  Kim Newlin, RN, CNS, NP-C and Staci Ross, M.A., L.M.F.T.

Resources : American Heart Association, New England Journal of Medicine, British Heart Foundation, Lancet,  Oregon Health & Science University, mysisters.org, Tisch Center for Women's Health at NYU’s Langone Medical Center, Harvard Researcher Dr. Catherine Kreatsoulas

Tools : (below)

American Heart Association - Women:

https://www.goredforwomen.org/en/

Youtube recommendation from Kim- “Just A Little Heart Attack”:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7wmPWTnDbE

What’s your Heart Health? Link to the Tool: Essential 8

https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/lifes-essential-8

#091: Situationships, Valentines, DTR Talks, and Commitment

Have you ever been caught in the web of an undefined relationship, grappling with the ambiguity of where you stand? We've all been there, especially during those moments of introspection around widely celebrated holidays like Valentine’s Day.

In this thought-provoking episode, TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor dive into the world of undefined relationships, including "situationships." Join us as we navigate through the complexities of Valentine's Day and the myriad emotions it stirs within undefined connections. Ever heard of DTR (Define the Relationship) Talks? We unpack the significance of these crucial conversations and their impact on shaping the trajectory of relationships.

We bring in the expertise of Dr. Davilla, who recommends developing essential skills to enhance the health of our relationships. From effective communication strategies to fostering commitment, Dr. Davilla's insights provide a roadmap for navigating the twists and turns of modern relationships.

Whether you're in the throes of a situationship or seeking new strategies, tune in as we unravel the mysteries of undefined relationships and equip you with the tools to foster a healthier and more fulfilling connection. Your journey to improved relationship dynamics starts here!

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Dr. Joanne Davilla’s Ted Talk: Skills for Healthy Relationships

Developing Relationship Skills: Insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5VhaicC6g

Resources : 

Situationships: What They Are and 5 Signs You’re in One

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-a-situationship

The DTR Talk: How To Define The Relationship & When To Do It

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/why-defining-the-relationship-is-important-and-how-to-have-the-conversation

Links :

75% cite “lack of commitment” as their identified reason for divorce. More information:

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/

#090: Money Talks! How to Set Expectations about Gifts and Money

The holidays are a time of joy, but they can also bring about stress, especially when it comes to openly discussing topics like money and gift-giving. It's a delicate dance that demands clarity and courage, especially in relationships that are already sensitive.

In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor dive into the topic of setting expectations about gifts and money in those relationships we want to keep. Join us as we embark on a journey to explore practical strategies for our listeners to navigate these potentially tricky conversations. We discuss strategies including understanding the recipient's primary love language, emphasizing the importance of focusing on gifts that the receiver truly desires, rather than projecting the giver's preferences. 

Candid conversations are at the heart of healthy relationships, and we delve into the art of having open and honest discussions about expectations. Setting boundaries is another key aspect that we explore, providing valuable insights on maintaining balance and ensuring mutual respect.

Finally, we explore creative approaches to gift-giving, proving that thoughtful gestures often carry more weight than extravagant presents. So, whether you're in a long-term partnership, a new romance, or navigating family dynamics, this episode is packed with actionable advice to help you foster meaningful connections during the most wonderful time of the year.   

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Resources : 

The Five Love Languages

https://5lovelanguages.com/

Steig Article on Holiday Expectations:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/holiday-relationship-expectations

The Simpsons - Homer’s Bowling Ball Episode “Life on the Fast Lane”:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0701152/plotsummary/

Real Simple Article by Latimer

https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/money/talk-about-money-with-friends

Martha Stewart Article - “Setting Boundaries for the Holidays”

https://www.marthastewart.com/8186986/how-tell-friends-no-holiday-gifts

Links :

Episode 75: How to Express Your Needs to Unlock More Intimacy

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/0fe8e82f7c04dd389c68b0029e5b4abd

Episodes 20, 21, 22 Boundaries Series

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c6b431c4b18335a1759db7588986fd0d

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04a05256443fa4baabf2b3dcbfcc32d9

 

Money Playlist - Music from the Quiz

Money Money Money by ABBA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0

Bitch Better Have My Money by Rihanna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3eAMGXFw1o

Can’t Buy Me Love by The Beatles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3WJiqc_bEs

Bills Bills Bills by Destiny’s Child

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiF6-0UTqtc

Rich Girl by Hall and Oates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIAkRVBS-0U

 

#089: Let’s Talk Money Honey! How to Talk about Money

Money matters can be challenging terrain for many couples, often leading to heated arguments and unnecessary stress. Research consistently highlights the prevalence of issues arising from a lack of open communication about finances. How were you raised to approach the subject of money? Was it a common topic or a conversational taboo?

Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as they unravel the complexities of financial discussions within relationships. In this episode, we explore the roots of financial communication education – or lack thereof – and its impact on current relationship dynamics.

Discover the power of proactive stress management versus reactive stress when it comes to discussing finances. Listen to strategies for navigating these inevitable stress points, emphasizing the importance of addressing money matters outside the heat of a crisis. Tune in as we guide you through healthy ways to approach, articulate, and time your discussions about money with your partner. From strategies on staying informed and educated to incorporating productive language, we've got you covered.

Ever thought about scheduling "money check-ins"? We explore this innovative approach as a pathway to fostering consistent and constructive communication about finances in your relationship. Don't let money be a stumbling block; turn it into a catalyst for deeper connection and understanding.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Resources :  marriage.com

Top ten reasons for divorce from marriage.com

https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/

 

Statistics on arguing about money:

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-common-behavior-is-the-no-1-predictor-of-whether-youll-get-divorced-2018-01-10

 

Lack of Money Communication before marriage:

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/get-engaged-over-the-holiday-its-time-to-set-a-dateto-talk-about-money-300773761.html

Tools : 

Tips from WhiteBoard Finance (Youtube):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4_CdtkcCxM

1. Be honest / transparent (go over you assess and liabilities 401k vs student loans)
2. Goals (shared not individual) 1. saving /emergencies 2. Travel 3. Taxes 4. House 5. Car 6. Insurance 
3. Separate or joint (studies suggest joint = happier longer marriages) Hybrid put in same percent of income into shared expenses 
4. Budget together 
   1. recurring expenses
   2. No need to split 50/50. Maybe higher earner takes on bigger cost mortgage vs bills
   3. Max out tax advantages (401k) first 
5. Regular Reviews (should meet regularly to go over goals, revisit shared goals and new goals) 
   1. Monthly 
   2. Quarterly 
   3. Annually 

TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Schedule and Have Regular Conversations about Money!

Links :

Episode 80 - Red Flags in Relationships and Dating!

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04fba5aa22def91904d762e99f13460b

#088: Are You Even Listening? How to Improve Your Listening! Part 2

Ever felt like your attempts to listen were falling short? Do you find yourself inadvertently steering conversations in the wrong direction? We've all been there. Join your hosts, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor, as we navigate the nuances of effective listening and unravel responding errors that hinder our ability to truly connect with others.

Communication breakdowns happen when we misinterpret the context or jump into problem-solving mode when someone simply needs an empathetic ear. Have you ever noticed the domino effect of someone tuning out when they feel unheard? It's a cycle we've all experienced.

In this episode, we're not just scratching the surface—we're diving deep. Learn from real-life scenarios as we discuss nine common responding errors that can throw a conversation off course. Tune in for practical tips and strategies to enhance your listening skills. Discover how to break free from the cycle of communication breakdowns and foster deeper connections with those around you. Because when we truly listen, we not only hear words but also understand the emotions and stories behind them.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Wolvin and Coakley

Resources :  

Listening Education

https://www.listen.org/resources/Documents/LE%202011-2.pdf

https://edge.sagepub.com/system/files/77593_5.1ref.pdf

Responding Errors:

1. Stage Hogging
2. Overly Focusing on Details
3. Creating Distractions
4. Selectively Responding
5. Interrupting
6. Focusing on the Speaker’s Delivery or Criticizing the Speaker
7. Insensitive Responding
8. Defensiveness
9. Ambushing

Links :

Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys

https://www.amazon.com/Dave-Barrys-Complete-Guide-Guys/dp/0449910261

#087: Are You Even Listening? How to Improve Your Listening! Part 1

Have you ever pondered the art of effective listening? Are you truly a master of the subtle yet essential skill of listening?

Join TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we dive deep into the world of listening. Discover the mechanics behind this underrated but vital aspect of communication. We'll explore the key elements of the listening process, as highlighted by communication experts Wolvin and Coakley: Hearing, Attending, Understanding (Comprehension), Remembering, and Responding.

We shed light on the common pitfalls and errors in listening that can hinder our connections with others. From not paying attention and faking interest to the sneaky tactics of selective listening, insulated listening, insensitive listening, and ambushing, we'll help you identify and overcome these barriers to truly enrich your relationships. 

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Wolvin and Coakley, DeVito

Resources : 

Listening Education

https://www.listen.org/resources/Documents/LE%202011-2.pdf

https://edge.sagepub.com/system/files/77593_5.1ref.pdf

Links :

Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf

Episode #015: What the Phub!

https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5

It’s Not About the Nail

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg&t=3s

#086:AFAF with Arianna on Managing Grief and Wholehearted Living

Grief is a universal emotion, yet it remains a topic shrouded in misunderstanding and discomfort. How do we navigate grief, and can we find new ways to understand, manage, and even grow through it? Join us as we embark on a transformative conversation with Arianna Caligiuri, who shares her profound insights and strategies to cope with grief.

Join TalkDoc, Meredith, Teighlor, and Arianna, as we dive into unique approaches to grief management. Listen to Arianna explain how breathwork and physical movement effective tools for healing and processing grief can be. Discover how these practices can guide you through the labyrinth of emotions that grief often brings.

But that's not all; Arianna also helps us understand the importance of our words and phrases when supporting those who are grieving. Learn why saying "Everything will be okay" or "Call me if you need me" may not always be the most helpful expressions of empathy and discover alternative ways to connect and be there for our loved ones in their times of need.

This episode is a heartfelt exploration of grief, offering both solace and practical strategies for anyone navigating this complex and deeply personal journey. Join us as we find hope, healing, and meaningful connections in the face of grief.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Brene Brown, David Kessler

Resources : 

Psalm 56:8 (NLT): “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”

Brene Brown - Braving the Wilderness

https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/

Kessler - Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief

https://grief.com/sixth-stage-of-grief/

Tools :  Grief Day By Day

https://www.griefdaybyday.com/

Links :

https://www.ariannabythesea.com/

#085:AFAF with David Leonard on How to Deal with Grief

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words when someone close to you is grieving? That initial encounter can be challenging. You might wonder what to say, how to provide support, or if you've been on the receiving end of condolences, perhaps you've felt unsupported or misunderstood.

In this thought-provoking episode, your hosts, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor, engage in a heartfelt conversation with a special guest, David Leonard, the Executive Director of New Hope Grief Support Community. Together, they explore the multifaceted nature of grief, recognizing that each person's grieving process is as unique as a fingerprint. David poignantly describes grief as a beautiful mess, one that has the potential to evolve into a beautiful mosaic over time.

David shares a powerful perspective: "Grieving people don't need to be fixed because they are not broken. They may be broken-hearted, but they are not broken." In this enlightening dialogue, we invite you to listen in and discover invaluable strategies to navigate your own journey through grief and to better support others during their times of mourning.

Tune in to gain insights, empathy, and practical tools for fostering meaningful connections and communication in the face of grief. Together, we'll explore the transformative power of understanding and compassion in the midst of life's most challenging moments. Don't miss this episode—it's an essential guide for anyone seeking to navigate the complex terrain of grief with grace and wisdom.

Music by epidemic sound.

SHOW NOTES:

Experts :  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross; Dr. William Worden; Edith Edgar

Resources/Links: 

New Hope Grief Support Community   https://www.newhopegrief.org/

Childhood Estimation Bereavement Model - Judy’s House and Jag institute in Colorado

https://judishouse.org/research-tools/cbem/cbem-reports/

What’s Your Grief? On Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/whatsyourgrief/?hl=en

Modern Loss on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/modernloss/

National Alliance for Children Grieving (NACG):  https://nacg.org/

Camp Erin:  https://camperinparents.com/about-camp-erin/

Recommended Google Searches:

1. “Grief support near me”
2. “Grief Experience Camps near me”