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Dr. Pamela Kreiser (with Meredith Edwards Nagel and Teighlor Polendo) shares her practical insights about how to improve relationships and promote peace—drawing upon her experience teaching graduate and undergraduate students, serving as a Lead Mediator, and training Mediators. Submit your questions to hello@afafpodcast.com KEYWORDS: Communication, Interpersonal Communication, Interpersonal Conflict, Relationships, Mediation, Human Connection, Dyadic Communication, Interpersonal Communication Skills.
Episodes
Tuesday Sep 19, 2023
Tuesday Sep 19, 2023
Have you ever found yourself trapped in the aftermath of an unresolved situation or a lingering emotional burden from a past relationship? Did you ever wish there was a way to find closure and finally move forward?
In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor dive into the intricacies of closure. We all have experienced those moments when someone hurt us, and they seemingly moved on effortlessly, leaving us stuck in a whirlwind of emotions. Closure is the key to liberating yourself from this emotional turmoil. Closure is not just about ending an emotional circumstance without pain or regret; it's about reclaiming your emotional well-being. Smith of marriage.com, who aptly defines closure as a “means ending an emotional circumstance without pain or regret. And it implies extricating ourselves from the emotional burden and no longer allowing the relationship to have any weight on our well-being.”
Drawing from the work of psychologist Dr. Ahona Guha (2021), we explore the concept of closure into three essential tasks: 1) Understand the Situation, 2) Process the Difficult Feelings, and 3) Allow Time and Distance.
Join us in this enlightening episode and embark on a journey towards closure that promises to empower you, lighten your emotional load, and help you pave the way to a brighter, more fulfilling future.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Ahona Guha - Psychology Today, Smith - marriage.com, Brene Brown - brenebrown.com
Resources :
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prisons-and-pathos/202106/how-find-psychological-closure
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-move-on-without-closure/
Links :
Episode 11 : Self-Forgiveness - You Hold the Keys to the Cell You Occupy
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/91e8f9c4d10e7c0bf0efc0b27560dc35
Episode 10: Forgiveness 101 - How to Forgive Others
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c587bdf876c3a40c7911fedba5dd51f8
Episode 21: Boundaries 101 - How to Say No!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9
LIST OF CLOSURE SONGS:
Taylor Swift - “We are Never Ever Getting Back Together”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4iX5D9Z64
Adele - “Someone Like You”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0
Destiny’s Child - “Survivor”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmc8bQoL-J0
Gloria Gaynor - “I Will Survive”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dYWe1c3OyU
Beatles - “Let it Be”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzvDofigTKQ
Whitney Houston - “I Will Always Love You”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU
Disney - “Let It Go”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk
Tuesday Sep 05, 2023
Tuesday Sep 05, 2023
Have you ever heard of "beige flags" in the world of Relationships and Dating? Have you pondered over whether these seemingly mundane behaviors hold any significance in your relationships? Caitlin MacPhail, the TikToker, behind the term "beige flags," defines them as observed behaviors that might appear dull or peculiar. They neither fall into the good nor bad category but compel us to pause and ponder their implications.
In this episode, we've invited Sammi Sanchez Gomez to join the AFAF Team to dive deep into the world of beige flags. Together, we explore instances where these subtle signals might seem inconsequential, but also discuss when these behaviors warrant closer examination.
Join TalkDoc, Teighlor, Meredith, and Sammi, as we unpack the true significance of beige flags. We'll equip you with valuable knowledge and practical tools to cultivate meaningful relationships. Discover the beauty of recognizing the idiosyncrasies in potential partners and nurturing the potential for a bright and fulfilling future together.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Caitlin MacPhail, Daniel Sloss
Tools : Perception Checking
Links :
Episode 26: Perception Checking
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/e88afc79091effdacde749d121496fe6
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
In this episode, we explore various green flags that can guide us towards building successful relationships. We examine those positive signs that indicate a relationship has the potential to thrive and grow. We offer insights into the possibility of healthy and fulfilling connections with another person.
By learning to identify these green flags in others, we can empower ourselves to make informed decisions about our romantic prospects. Furthermore, we acknowledge that personal growth and self-reflection play a crucial role in creating and maintaining healthy connections.
Join TalkDoc, Teighlor, and Meredith as we unpack the significance of green flags, equipping you with the knowledge and tools to foster meaningful relationships. Discover the joy of recognizing positive indicators in potential partners and nurturing the potential for a bright and fulfilling future together.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Kelly Green, Shanita Brown, Amanda Chatel
Resources :
Article on Green Flags by Amanda Chatel:
https://www.self.com/story/relationship-green-flags
Four Couples Married More than 50 Years Spill Secret to Long-Lasting Love:
https://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/couples-married-longer-50-years-spill-secret-long/story?id=45222748
StrengthsFinder 2.0:
https://store.gallup.com/p/en-us/10385/strengthsfinder-2.0-(hardcover)
Links :
https://www.drshanitabrown.com/
Previous AFAF Episodes on Boundaries:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c6b431c4b18335a1759db7588986fd0d
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04a05256443fa4baabf2b3dcbfcc32d9
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Have you ever found yourself pondering the subtle indications that something might not be quite right in your relationships and dating experiences? Those cautionary yellow flags that discreetly wave, urging us to pay attention to underlying concerns as the relationship progresses. These yellow flags serve as early warnings, signaling that there is some essential work to be done within the relationship, and if left unattended, they may evolve into more pronounced red flags.
In this thought-provoking episode, the insightful trio of TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor embark on an engaging exploration of Yellow Flags in Relationships and Dating. Drawing upon the wisdom of renowned researcher John Gottman, they delve into the profound concept of the "four horsemen," which are destructive communication patterns that can erode the foundation of any relationship. By shining a light on these horsemen, they empower listeners to recognize and address potential pitfalls before they escalate.
With compassion and expertise, our hosts carefully examine the wide array of warning signs that may manifest in relationships and dating scenarios. From subtle changes in behavior and communication patterns to a growing sense of emotional disconnect, they dissect the intricate tapestry of yellow flags, offering keen insights and practical strategies to navigate these treacherous waters.
Moreover, this illuminating discussion delves into the pivotal question of when and why one might choose to terminate a relationship because of these warning signs. By exploring the delicate balance between self-preservation and relationship growth, our hosts provide listeners with invaluable guidance on recognizing the tipping point where the journey together becomes untenable.
Tune in and join us for this pivotal and transformative conversation as we unravel the intricacies of Yellow Flags in Relationships and Dating. Gain a deeper understanding of these signals, learn to communicate effectively, and embrace the tools necessary for building healthy and thriving connections. Don't miss out on this essential episode that could reshape your approach to relationships and lead you towards a path of lasting fulfillment.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Nicole LePera, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Zand, Dr. Jill Weber, Vanessa Trine
Resources :
https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/relationship-red-flags/
Links to Previous AFAF Episodes:
Episode #061: Stop Criticizing! How to Properly Complain without Blame
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/af635ca774c6d2e6773cb13662cceeab
Episode #002: Ah, Defensiveness - How to Manage Defensiveness
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/7006e63c9ed15961a921e4843f717078
Episode #064: AFAF Real Talk - Don’t Be So Defensive! It’s Me Not You!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c4d53cbcdc7bf08bf8a8e41c3abb9723
Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf
Episode #012: AFAF with Shardasia LeDay on How to Reconcile
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/fdae1ec8e31fb65c2c8cb34c429f148e
Episode #062: AFAF with Vanessa Trine on Anxiety and How It Translates into the Body
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/0ea8856c22092ff47e49a366594e1a66
Tuesday Jun 27, 2023
Tuesday Jun 27, 2023
Red flags are warning signs that indicate potential problems and sometimes even dangerous situations in relationships. Red flags are easier to spot in other people’s relationships than our own. Whether it is avoiding difficult conversations, frequently referencing former relationships, displaying inappropriate levels of emotion or other potentially dysfunctional behavior, red flags are important to identify and address.
In this episode, TalkDoc, Teighlor, and Meredith identify red flags in relationships. We discuss common red flags and strategies for helping ourselves and others when they appear. Join us for this important conversation!
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Kelman, Zand, Martin, Gillis, Samuels, Weber
Resources :
https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/relationship-red-flags/
https://www.kaytlyngillislcsw.com/
https://journals.ntu.ac.uk/index.php/litc/article/view/417
Links:
Gaslighting Episode 23 (Part 1):
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/172b1da84e9ef9e99153bd3d3622698b
Gaslighting Episode 24 (Part 2):
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/3a5b4efae31991c46b80678dfad86f9f
National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) at 1-800-799-7233, or National Domestic Violence Helpline (UK) at 0808 2000 247
Above all else, know that you deserve a safe, healthy relationship. If you’re experiencing any form of relationship abuse, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day, seven days a week by calling 1-800-799-SAFE, texting START to 88788, or messaging a real person via live chat at thehotline.org
“We accept the love we think we deserve” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
In this Father’s Day episode we celebrate the men who have taken on the role of fatherhood. Join Pete and Ralph as they interview Tommy (Meredith’s husband) about his first year of being a dad to their 1-year-old.
Listen in as Tommy shares his insights and lessons learned during his first year of fatherhood. From watching his daughter grow to finding ways to support his partner, Meredith, Tommy gives us a glimpse into his experiences and the joys and challenges that come with this responsibility.
Moreover, we explore the impact of fatherhood on his relationship with his partner and how they are building a lifetime partnership. This episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated as we highlight the incredible strength, resilience, and love of fathers all around us. So, join us as we honor fathers on this special day!
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Our own Fathers and all of the great Fathers who have taught us so much!
Links :
Last Year’s Father’s Day Episode #54: Father Knows Best! How to Foster Curiosity and Build Self-Confidence in Your Child
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/25a4c29ea0c9724f21a6e527329d0a46
Tuesday May 30, 2023
Tuesday May 30, 2023
Have you been wondering if Artificial Intelligence is going to replace your job? Or negatively impact your children? In this episode, we talk about parenting in a society using Artificial Intelligence. We draw on the incredible work of Dr. Sherry Turkle who helps us understand the importance of addressing the growing AI presence in our world.
Listen to TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we discuss ways to increase the empathy in our children to fight loneliness and depression. Since Artificial Intelligence is only expanding we discuss strategies for working with Artificial Intelligence as a partner instead of seeing AI as an adversary or replacement. We offer tips to improve your parental communication and enhance relationships with the children around you.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Sherry Turkle, Manuel Pulido, Simon Sinek, Brene Brown, Vivek Murthy, Joe Rogan, Fred Rogers
Resources :
Listen to Dr. Sherry Turkle:
Computing: Reflections and the Path Forward - YouTube
Read Dr. Sherry Turkle’s latest book:
https://www.sherryturkle.com/the-empathy-diaries
Listen to Dr. Sherry Turkle discuss technology and empathy:
https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/anti-empathy-machine
Recent Warning from Vivek Murthy (US Surgeon General):
Listen to Episode 15 (What the Phub!) about Technology and Communication:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5
Tuesday May 16, 2023
Tuesday May 16, 2023
Over the past few years, AI (artificial intelligence) has transformed the way we interact with technology, making it possible for machines to perform tasks that previously required human input. From instant document creation and contract drafting to graphic design and music composition, AI has proven to be a powerful tool that can save us time and enhance our productivity. However, as the use of AI continues to grow, concerns about its impact on communication and relationships have emerged.
In this episode of our podcast on communication and interpersonal relationships, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor delve into the topic of AI, exploring the widespread use of this technology in our daily lives and relationships. We examine the ways in which AI is already changing how we communicate and connect with each other, from chatbots and virtual assistants to personalized recommendations and social media algorithms. We also discuss the potential dangers and risks associated with AI, particularly its impact on children, relationships, and our ability to form meaningful connections with others.
Join us as we navigate this complex and rapidly evolving landscape, offering insights and perspectives on the role of AI in shaping our communication and relationships. We'll explore the ethical implications of AI, as well as the potential benefits and drawbacks of its continued development. Whether you're a tech enthusiast or a skeptic, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of technology and human connection.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Sherry Turkle, Tristan Harris, Aza Raskin, Elon Musk and Steve Wozniack
Resources :
https://openai.com/product/gpt-4
Dr. Sherry Turkle:
Computing: Reflections and the Path Forward - YouTube
The A.I. Dilemma:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoVJKj8lcNQ
Dangers on SnapChat:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/03/14/snapchat-myai/
Huffington Post Article (Cohen):
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ai-chatgpt-bot-boyfriend_n_63f7dd2be4b04ff5b488ff84
Dr. Sherry Turkle’s Friction Free Concept:
“Artificial intelligence, perhaps without meaning to, has become deeply woven into this story. Why? Because artificial intelligence is almost definitionally about the promise of efficiency without vulnerability or, increasingly, about the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. But by trying to move ahead toward the friction free, we are getting ourselves into all kinds of new trouble.” - Dr. Sherry Turkle
“We preached authenticity, but we practiced self curation. Technology encouraged us to forget what we knew about life. And we made a digital world where we could forget what life was teaching us.” - Dr. Sherry Turkle
Tuesday May 02, 2023
Tuesday May 02, 2023
Welcome to our special Mother's Day episode where we celebrate the amazing women who have taken on the all-important role of motherhood. Join TalkDoc and Teighlor as they sit down with Meredith, a new mother, who shares her journey of mothering her almost 1-year-old.
In this candid conversation, Meredith shares her invaluable insights and lessons learned during her first year of motherhood. From watching her baby grow to finding ways to slow down, Meredith gives us an intimate glimpse into her experiences and the joys and challenges that come with this beautiful responsibility.
Moreover, we explore the impact of motherhood on her relationship with her partner and how they are building a lifetime partnership. This episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated as we highlight the incredible strength, resilience, and love of mothers all around us. So, join us as we honor mothers on this special day!
Warning: Meredith shares the story of her C-section delivery on this episode 2:40-8:50. Skip it if you don’t wish to hear about her delivery.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Our own Mothers and all of the Mothers who have taught us so much!
Resources :
"Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we are not perfect. " Fred Rogers
"I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes,' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else." Fred Rogers
“It's good to be curious about many things.” Fred Rogers
"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” Fred Rogers
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust.
Links :
Last Year’s Mother’s Day Episode #50: “You’re a Mother! How to Pick Your Battles and Help Your Child Write their Own Story
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/ca80a8f39853034aa136e92811805a03
Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It allows us to express our needs, desires, and emotions, and to better understand those of our partner. However, effective communication is not always easy, especially when it comes to expressing our needs without creating conflict or causing hurt feelings.
In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor explore the roots of why we don’t always express our needs to the people we care about the most. We identify a message structure tool (below) that can help us get in the practice of sharing our needs and improving our relationships to unlock deeper levels in our relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Psychologist Dr. Jill Weber (Psychology Today) identifies 5 reasons people are afraid to share their feelings and needs:
- “It will make matters worse” (it will create conflict).
- “I will seem needy” (better to suppress)
- “I’ll stress the person out” (stress now or later?)
- “They won’t get it” (I give up)
- “My feelings are wrong” (mixing up right and wrong)
Resources : Brene Brown (Dare to Lead)
Tools :
MESSAGE STRUCTURE FORMULA:
I FEEL ________
WHEN YOU DO ________
BECAUSE ________
WHAT I NEED IS _____________
TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Actually write these messages out and practice saying them!
Self-Esteem Mad Lib Template
https://www.psychcreatives.com/random/self-esteem-mad-lib/