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Dr. Pamela Kreiser (with Meredith Edwards Nagel and Teighlor Polendo) shares her practical insights about how to improve relationships and promote peace—drawing upon her experience teaching graduate and undergraduate students, serving as a Lead Mediator, and training Mediators. Submit your questions to hello@afafpodcast.com KEYWORDS: Communication, Interpersonal Communication, Interpersonal Conflict, Relationships, Mediation, Human Connection, Dyadic Communication, Interpersonal Communication Skills.
Episodes
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Have you ever found yourself pondering the subtle indications that something might not be quite right in your relationships and dating experiences? Those cautionary yellow flags that discreetly wave, urging us to pay attention to underlying concerns as the relationship progresses. These yellow flags serve as early warnings, signaling that there is some essential work to be done within the relationship, and if left unattended, they may evolve into more pronounced red flags.
In this thought-provoking episode, the insightful trio of TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor embark on an engaging exploration of Yellow Flags in Relationships and Dating. Drawing upon the wisdom of renowned researcher John Gottman, they delve into the profound concept of the "four horsemen," which are destructive communication patterns that can erode the foundation of any relationship. By shining a light on these horsemen, they empower listeners to recognize and address potential pitfalls before they escalate.
With compassion and expertise, our hosts carefully examine the wide array of warning signs that may manifest in relationships and dating scenarios. From subtle changes in behavior and communication patterns to a growing sense of emotional disconnect, they dissect the intricate tapestry of yellow flags, offering keen insights and practical strategies to navigate these treacherous waters.
Moreover, this illuminating discussion delves into the pivotal question of when and why one might choose to terminate a relationship because of these warning signs. By exploring the delicate balance between self-preservation and relationship growth, our hosts provide listeners with invaluable guidance on recognizing the tipping point where the journey together becomes untenable.
Tune in and join us for this pivotal and transformative conversation as we unravel the intricacies of Yellow Flags in Relationships and Dating. Gain a deeper understanding of these signals, learn to communicate effectively, and embrace the tools necessary for building healthy and thriving connections. Don't miss out on this essential episode that could reshape your approach to relationships and lead you towards a path of lasting fulfillment.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Nicole LePera, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Zand, Dr. Jill Weber, Vanessa Trine
Resources :
https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/relationship-red-flags/
Links to Previous AFAF Episodes:
Episode #061: Stop Criticizing! How to Properly Complain without Blame
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/af635ca774c6d2e6773cb13662cceeab
Episode #002: Ah, Defensiveness - How to Manage Defensiveness
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/7006e63c9ed15961a921e4843f717078
Episode #064: AFAF Real Talk - Don’t Be So Defensive! It’s Me Not You!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c4d53cbcdc7bf08bf8a8e41c3abb9723
Episode #005: Shut Down Mode - How to Manage Stonewalling
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf
Episode #012: AFAF with Shardasia LeDay on How to Reconcile
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/fdae1ec8e31fb65c2c8cb34c429f148e
Episode #062: AFAF with Vanessa Trine on Anxiety and How It Translates into the Body
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/0ea8856c22092ff47e49a366594e1a66
Tuesday Jun 27, 2023
Tuesday Jun 27, 2023
Red flags are warning signs that indicate potential problems and sometimes even dangerous situations in relationships. Red flags are easier to spot in other people’s relationships than our own. Whether it is avoiding difficult conversations, frequently referencing former relationships, displaying inappropriate levels of emotion or other potentially dysfunctional behavior, red flags are important to identify and address.
In this episode, TalkDoc, Teighlor, and Meredith identify red flags in relationships. We discuss common red flags and strategies for helping ourselves and others when they appear. Join us for this important conversation!
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Kelman, Zand, Martin, Gillis, Samuels, Weber
Resources :
https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/relationship-red-flags/
https://www.kaytlyngillislcsw.com/
https://journals.ntu.ac.uk/index.php/litc/article/view/417
Links:
Gaslighting Episode 23 (Part 1):
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/172b1da84e9ef9e99153bd3d3622698b
Gaslighting Episode 24 (Part 2):
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/3a5b4efae31991c46b80678dfad86f9f
National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) at 1-800-799-7233, or National Domestic Violence Helpline (UK) at 0808 2000 247
Above all else, know that you deserve a safe, healthy relationship. If you’re experiencing any form of relationship abuse, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day, seven days a week by calling 1-800-799-SAFE, texting START to 88788, or messaging a real person via live chat at thehotline.org
“We accept the love we think we deserve” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
Tuesday Jun 13, 2023
In this Father’s Day episode we celebrate the men who have taken on the role of fatherhood. Join Pete and Ralph as they interview Tommy (Meredith’s husband) about his first year of being a dad to their 1-year-old.
Listen in as Tommy shares his insights and lessons learned during his first year of fatherhood. From watching his daughter grow to finding ways to support his partner, Meredith, Tommy gives us a glimpse into his experiences and the joys and challenges that come with this responsibility.
Moreover, we explore the impact of fatherhood on his relationship with his partner and how they are building a lifetime partnership. This episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated as we highlight the incredible strength, resilience, and love of fathers all around us. So, join us as we honor fathers on this special day!
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Our own Fathers and all of the great Fathers who have taught us so much!
Links :
Last Year’s Father’s Day Episode #54: Father Knows Best! How to Foster Curiosity and Build Self-Confidence in Your Child
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/25a4c29ea0c9724f21a6e527329d0a46
Tuesday May 30, 2023
Tuesday May 30, 2023
Have you been wondering if Artificial Intelligence is going to replace your job? Or negatively impact your children? In this episode, we talk about parenting in a society using Artificial Intelligence. We draw on the incredible work of Dr. Sherry Turkle who helps us understand the importance of addressing the growing AI presence in our world.
Listen to TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor as we discuss ways to increase the empathy in our children to fight loneliness and depression. Since Artificial Intelligence is only expanding we discuss strategies for working with Artificial Intelligence as a partner instead of seeing AI as an adversary or replacement. We offer tips to improve your parental communication and enhance relationships with the children around you.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Sherry Turkle, Manuel Pulido, Simon Sinek, Brene Brown, Vivek Murthy, Joe Rogan, Fred Rogers
Resources :
Listen to Dr. Sherry Turkle:
Computing: Reflections and the Path Forward - YouTube
Read Dr. Sherry Turkle’s latest book:
https://www.sherryturkle.com/the-empathy-diaries
Listen to Dr. Sherry Turkle discuss technology and empathy:
https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/anti-empathy-machine
Recent Warning from Vivek Murthy (US Surgeon General):
Listen to Episode 15 (What the Phub!) about Technology and Communication:
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5
Tuesday May 16, 2023
Tuesday May 16, 2023
Over the past few years, AI (artificial intelligence) has transformed the way we interact with technology, making it possible for machines to perform tasks that previously required human input. From instant document creation and contract drafting to graphic design and music composition, AI has proven to be a powerful tool that can save us time and enhance our productivity. However, as the use of AI continues to grow, concerns about its impact on communication and relationships have emerged.
In this episode of our podcast on communication and interpersonal relationships, TalkDoc, Meredith, and Teighlor delve into the topic of AI, exploring the widespread use of this technology in our daily lives and relationships. We examine the ways in which AI is already changing how we communicate and connect with each other, from chatbots and virtual assistants to personalized recommendations and social media algorithms. We also discuss the potential dangers and risks associated with AI, particularly its impact on children, relationships, and our ability to form meaningful connections with others.
Join us as we navigate this complex and rapidly evolving landscape, offering insights and perspectives on the role of AI in shaping our communication and relationships. We'll explore the ethical implications of AI, as well as the potential benefits and drawbacks of its continued development. Whether you're a tech enthusiast or a skeptic, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of technology and human connection.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Dr. Sherry Turkle, Tristan Harris, Aza Raskin, Elon Musk and Steve Wozniack
Resources :
https://openai.com/product/gpt-4
Dr. Sherry Turkle:
Computing: Reflections and the Path Forward - YouTube
The A.I. Dilemma:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoVJKj8lcNQ
Dangers on SnapChat:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/03/14/snapchat-myai/
Huffington Post Article (Cohen):
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ai-chatgpt-bot-boyfriend_n_63f7dd2be4b04ff5b488ff84
Dr. Sherry Turkle’s Friction Free Concept:
“Artificial intelligence, perhaps without meaning to, has become deeply woven into this story. Why? Because artificial intelligence is almost definitionally about the promise of efficiency without vulnerability or, increasingly, about the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. But by trying to move ahead toward the friction free, we are getting ourselves into all kinds of new trouble.” - Dr. Sherry Turkle
“We preached authenticity, but we practiced self curation. Technology encouraged us to forget what we knew about life. And we made a digital world where we could forget what life was teaching us.” - Dr. Sherry Turkle
Tuesday May 02, 2023
Tuesday May 02, 2023
Welcome to our special Mother's Day episode where we celebrate the amazing women who have taken on the all-important role of motherhood. Join TalkDoc and Teighlor as they sit down with Meredith, a new mother, who shares her journey of mothering her almost 1-year-old.
In this candid conversation, Meredith shares her invaluable insights and lessons learned during her first year of motherhood. From watching her baby grow to finding ways to slow down, Meredith gives us an intimate glimpse into her experiences and the joys and challenges that come with this beautiful responsibility.
Moreover, we explore the impact of motherhood on her relationship with her partner and how they are building a lifetime partnership. This episode will leave you feeling inspired and motivated as we highlight the incredible strength, resilience, and love of mothers all around us. So, join us as we honor mothers on this special day!
Warning: Meredith shares the story of her C-section delivery on this episode 2:40-8:50. Skip it if you don’t wish to hear about her delivery.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Our own Mothers and all of the Mothers who have taught us so much!
Resources :
"Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we are not perfect. " Fred Rogers
"I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes,' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to someone else." Fred Rogers
“It's good to be curious about many things.” Fred Rogers
"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” Fred Rogers
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust.
Links :
Last Year’s Mother’s Day Episode #50: “You’re a Mother! How to Pick Your Battles and Help Your Child Write their Own Story
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/ca80a8f39853034aa136e92811805a03
Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It allows us to express our needs, desires, and emotions, and to better understand those of our partner. However, effective communication is not always easy, especially when it comes to expressing our needs without creating conflict or causing hurt feelings.
In this episode, TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor explore the roots of why we don’t always express our needs to the people we care about the most. We identify a message structure tool (below) that can help us get in the practice of sharing our needs and improving our relationships to unlock deeper levels in our relationships.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Psychologist Dr. Jill Weber (Psychology Today) identifies 5 reasons people are afraid to share their feelings and needs:
- “It will make matters worse” (it will create conflict).
- “I will seem needy” (better to suppress)
- “I’ll stress the person out” (stress now or later?)
- “They won’t get it” (I give up)
- “My feelings are wrong” (mixing up right and wrong)
Resources : Brene Brown (Dare to Lead)
Tools :
MESSAGE STRUCTURE FORMULA:
I FEEL ________
WHEN YOU DO ________
BECAUSE ________
WHAT I NEED IS _____________
TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Actually write these messages out and practice saying them!
Self-Esteem Mad Lib Template
https://www.psychcreatives.com/random/self-esteem-mad-lib/
Tuesday Apr 04, 2023
Tuesday Apr 04, 2023
Do you find yourself guessing what others are feeling or thinking around you? Do you feel like your partner expects you to know what they want without having to tell you? Do you find yourself feeling out of sync with your partner and on different wavelengths?
Having to read someone’s mind can be problematic in relationships because it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. When we assume that we know what our partner is thinking or feeling, we may act in ways that are not helpful or even harmful.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor as we explore strategies for reducing mindreading in our relationships. Learn techniques for improving your empathic accuracy. Help others not have to read your mind.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts :
Sanford (2015) at Baylor University
Kilpatrick, S. D., Bissonnette, V. L., & Rusbult, C. E. (2002). Empathic accuracy and accommodative behavior among newly married couples. Personal Relationships, 9(4), 369-393.
Thomas, G., & Fletcher, G. J. (2003). Mind-reading accuracy in intimate relationships: Assessing the roles of the relationship, the target, and the judge. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1079.
Resources :
Mind Reader Poem by Ms. Moem
https://msmoem.com/2018/poems/mind-reader-poem/
Psychology Today Article (Fugere)
Can You Read Your Partner’s Mind? | Psychology Today
Links :
AFAF Episode 13: The Stories We Make Up
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/97368b3e753092d12a97c52d74b58cbf
AFAF Episode 15: What the Phub!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/49181892af68bd3170e025ea77a58de5
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
Have you ever found yourself in a conflict and wondered why the other person acts the way they do? To you, their behavior just doesn’t make sense. You just don’t “get them.” In these moments, it’s tough to communicate with other people.
In this episode, we explore moments when our conflict styles are different from the people with whom we are communicating. We highlight extreme pairings when an accommodating style meets a competing style as well as when an avoiding style meets a collaborating style.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor as we explore strategies for managing the differences we face when we are in conflicts in the relationships we wish to keep.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Kilman and Thomas, Blake and Mouton, Rahim, Hocker and Wilmot (2018), Sharon Downey (2017)
Tools : Kilman-Thomas (K-T) Test
https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/
TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Practicing All Five Styles!
Links :
Episode #72: What is your Conflict Style?
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c2ec7b00b6d86dfcca8ef1d0c69a866e
Episode #71: AFAF with Carrie Johnson on People Pleasers!
https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/f51d610dd854351ecace50e61afb0c01
Tuesday Mar 07, 2023
Tuesday Mar 07, 2023
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to deal with a conflict, and noticed that you always approach it in a certain way? Whether you are aware of it or not, everyone has a preferred conflict style that they tend to use. Understanding your own conflict style and styles of others can make a significant difference in how conflicts are resolved.
In this episode, we dive into five primary conflict styles - Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Accommodating, and Avoiding. We’ll explain what each style entails and give examples of how they play out in real-life situations. By breaking down the pros and cons of each style, we’ll help you identify your own preferences and give you insights on how to recognize and work with other styles.
Join TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor as we explore different conflict styles and learn how to navigate them in a constructive and positive way. With our practical tips and examples, you’ll come away with a better understanding of how to handle conflicts and build stronger relationships you want to keep.
Music by epidemic sound.
SHOW NOTES:
Experts : Kilmann and Thomas, Blake and Mouton, Rahim, Hocker and Wilmot (2018)
Tools : Kilmann-Thomas (K-T) Test
https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/
TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) : Practicing All Five Styles!
Links :