Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc

#055: All the Feels! How to Better Express Your Feelings

In this episode, we discuss how to express feelings effectively. Specifically, we unpack how to better Express and Regulate emotions in a healthy way to help grow and deepen our everyday relationships. You’ll hear about which communication patterns to avoid and which ones to focus on to help us increase our emotional intelligence.  TalkDoc and the team help us visualize what Expressing and Regulating looks like by role playing with each other.  And, if you are looking for TC4G (trading comfort for growth) there is more than enough of it to go around in this episode - practical steps you can take to put what you learn into action right away.

Music by epidemic sound.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EP 55: All the Feels - How to Express Your Feelings

Experts : Dr. Marc Brackett

Tools : RULER system for increasing Emotional Intelligence (Brackett). His book: Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive (2019)

R -Recognition of emotion in oneself  

U -Understanding of emotions involves knowing the consequences and causes of our feelings. 

L -Labeling the feeling properly is equally important.
E -Expressing feelings demands the presence of someone who wants to listen to you.
R -Regulation of emotions doesn’t entail suppression, repression, or denial, all of which don’t allow you to move past emotions. 

TC4G (TRADING COMFORT FOR GROWTH) :

1. Avoid confusing words, “I am a little mad” “I am pretty excited”
2. Avoid confusing phrases, sometimes people say roundabout phrasing like, “well if you aren’t doing anything this weekend, you could drop by” – hard to know what this means. Instead say “I feel alone”
3. Focus on specific circumstances, rather than whole relationships, Adlers says “instead of saying I resent you, say, “I resent you when you don’t keep your promises. Rather than saying, “I am bored with you” say “I am bored when you talk about money.”
4. Expand the range: Discuss multiple emotions
5. Understand the context: is this the right place to share this? Aristotle, “Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way. This is not easy.”
6. Own the feelings, instead of saying, “you make me so mad” say “I am angry” etc.
7. Use XYZ formula: (Hocker and Wilmot)
   When you do X, In situation Y, I feel Z
   When you laugh (X), when I am telling you a serious problem (Y), I feel disrespected(Z).
   When you frown (X), when I am telling you about work (Y), I feel unimportant (Z).

#054: Father Knows Best! How to Foster Curiosity and Build Self-Confidence in Your Child

As a special tribute to Father’s Day, TalkDoc, Teighlor and Meredith hand-over their microphones to their spouses - Pete, Ralph and Tommy to talk about what fatherhood is teaching them about their relationship with their kids and themselves.

Tommy guides the discussion as a soon-to-be father, with Ralph, dad to two young boys and Pete, father to 3 adult children. Together they share highs and lows through stories from their own experiences, tackling important topics like how to foster curiosity and build self-confidence.

Listen in now as these three dads shed some light on how they are shaping close relationships with their children to bring out the best in their kids as they grow from newborn to adult.

Music by epidemic sound.

#053: Sad? Mad? Glad? How to Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary

Do you leave the people around you wondering how you are feeling? Do you play it safe and “not go there?” Too often we take the easy road and fail to recognize, label, and/or express ourselves well. The truth is that all of us could improve our emotional expression to help our relationships grow. Afterall, we are emotional people who sometimes think!

 
In this episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” we explore three strategies for increasing our emotional vocabularies. Additionally, we discuss ways to help the children in our lives become better at expressing themselves.

Listen in now to learn strategies to help our closest relationship partners understand us.

Music by epidemic sound.

#052: Blooper Reel 4 - Uhm...Asking for a Host

As we celebrate our 15 Month-A-Versary, we continue to grow our podcast! Listen to TalkDoc, Teighlor and Meredith’s latest blooper reel to hear more of our uncoordinated moments. Special thanks to our listeners from all 50 U.S. States and from over 72 countries. Thank you for listening to Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc!

Check out our web page:   AFAFPodcast.com

Music by epidemic sound.

#051: Now We’re Talkin’ - How to Get Someone to Tell You More

Do you ever find yourself wanting to have a two-way conversation with someone else, but realize you’re mostly having the conversation with yourself? In this episode of “Asking for a Friend with TalkDoc,” we explore three simple communication tools we can use to quickly jump start a two-way conversation. TalkDoc teaches us the principle of getting out of our own way and the steps we can take to make that happen. TalkDoc roleplays with Meredith and Teighlor to show us how to use each of these tools in practice.

Listen in now to learn and laugh along the way with TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor so you can try out these three handy tools for better communication in your relationships with others.

Music by epidemic sound.

#050: You’re a Mother: How to Pick Your Battles and Help Your Child Write Their Own Story

Being a mother can be challenging and complex! Given the life changing impact a mother’s responsibilities carry, it’s hard to believe that a lot of the learning takes place on-the-job.  That’s why it’s so important for mothers to find places they can turn for real world perspective and practical mother-child relationship advice.

In this episode of “Asking for a Friend with Talkdoc," we celebrate Mother’s Day and all future and current moms. Soon to be mother, Meredith, poses top questions on her mind to current mothers, TalkDoc and Teighlor. Together the AFAF team discusses the ups and downs of building a positive mother-child relationship.

You’ll hear a range of perspectives from TalkDoc - a mother of three adult children and Teighlor - a mom keeping it together with two kids under three, as well as Meredith’s takeaways as she prepares for motherhood.       

Music by epidemic sound.

#049: Fallacies (Part 6): How to Vet Your Influencers

Influencers and endorsers with famous faces and voices are now a multi-billion-dollar industry for the advertising industry. The exploding popularity of social media channels is accelerating this trend.  As a result, we are bombarded nearly by the minute with messages propped up by celebrity, media, and online personalities.  Often these messages leverage the Fallacy of False Authority. So, what steps can we take to more intelligently respond to these messages - especially the ones where the expertise of the individual speaking up in support of a product, service or idea doesn’t at all match?  

In this episode of “Asking For A Friend,” TalkDoc with Meredith and Teighlor, explore the Fallacy of False Authority and it’s cousin Blind Loyalty. You’ll hear examples to better spot this fallacy in your own life.  Then our AFAF team will share practical steps you can take to put what you’ve learned into action to help avoid falling into these fallacy traps.

As you become familiar with how to spot different types of fallacies, including false Authority, you’ll be better equipped to keep an open mind so that you can focus on evidence and ideas vs. the false associations presented by “post hoc” fallacies.

Music by epidemic sound.

#048: Fallacies (Part 5): It’s Complicated! How to Avoid Oversimplification

Simplification can be a handy way for us to make sense of something that may seem complex.  But when oversimplification takes over, we may end up missing the truth about what’s really going on. In our everyday relationships it helps to be equipped with detection tools to help us avoid accepting explanations of outcomes that simply aren’t true. 

In this episode of “Asking For A Friend," TalkDoc along with Meredith and Teighlor, discuss types of oversimplification that we encounter in our everyday lives, like confusing correlation with causation.  Then they lay out practical tools for detecting oversimplification and how to move past it to uncover what’s really going on.  

As you become familiar with how to spot different types of fallacies you’ll be better equipped to keep an open mind so that you can focus on evidence and ideas vs the false associations presented by oversimplification fallacies.

Music by epidemic sound.

#047: Fallacies (Part 4): Are You Stitious or Superstitious?

Have you ever heard someone blame a superstition on an outcome that is completely unrelated?  Like, “I saw a black cat cross my path and that is why I failed my test.”  If you have, then you know what a post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy sounds like (Latin for “If therefore because of this”).  

Superstitious “Post hoc” fallacies are another way we attempt to explain events to ourselves. In an earlier episode of “Asking For A Friend” on Mindsets (Episode 4) we talked about how we explain things in our lives to ourselves. In this episode, you’ll learn about more superstitions - like lucky pennies and knocking on wood. 

TalkDoc leads a conversation with Meredith and Teighlor to uncover the dangers in these fallacies and the benefits of understanding the true reasons for an outcome.  You’ll also learn about how superstition “post hoc” fallacies can fuel the flame of shame as well as benefits of isolating the causes for why an outcome actually happened.

As you become familiar with how to spot different types of fallacies you’ll be better equipped to keep an open mind so that you can focus on evidence and ideas vs the false associations presented by “post hoc” fallacies.

Music by epidemic sound.

#046: Fallacies (Part 3): How to Spot Scare Tactics

Fallacies come in all shapes and sizes, but what they all have in common is fundamentally unsound. Consequently, fallacies do not hold up under scrutiny.

In part 3 of our series, we explore fallacies based on scare tactics and emotional appeal. You’ll become better acquainted with this type of fallacy, the forms it takes and the power it has to convince you to change your mind.  Listen to TalkDoc, Meredith and Teighlor discuss how to better manage and respond to an encounter with someone who lobs this type of fallacy into your court. 

As you become familiar with how to spot different types of fallacies, you’ll be better equipped to keep an open mind so that you can focus on evidence and ideas versus the origin or people delivering the message.

Music by epidemic sound.